Lately, I feel like I'm really sick of my daily job, at the sewing workshop. Yes, it has its own advantages; and yes, I can learn so much there about sewing and stuff. But these few weeks I can't find myself there. Do you know the feeling of being lost in the darkness? Being stuck in the middle of a forest clearing, and there are different paths you can walk in and find your way out, but none of them is the right one that will eventually get you out of that messy wood. Being lost in the forest. That's how I've been feeling at work. I can't stand being there even for half an hour. They give me all those boring jobs, not always things that have to do with the sewing part of the process, just some pretty simple jobs with about 1000 units in each. It makes me crazy. I'm bored, I'm hot, I'm tired. I'm out of my mind, if you will. No one's fault. The company is still great, and there's no rush with anything. Yet, I can't stand being there.
So, basically I'm thinking about leaving. Now I need to check my options. There's no really good options. The best option I see right now, which is not only the best one, it's also pretty good too, is working exclusively on my bags. My soon to be studio will be my working place, I'll be my own boss, I'll sell my bags from there. I'm still checking that option, if it's even possible.
But the best part, I'd finally be able to say I am a bag designer. Not just a sewer. Although I think it's a little early for me to say the word 'designer' by all means. I just feel I'm not there yet. I don't have an official business, I don't know everything about making bags, I'm still learning, and there is still a lot to learn. And I think there will come the day when I could finally say, "Yes, I am a bag designer. That's my profession, that's what I do". Because right now it feels a little weird saying those words. Does the fact that I make many bags and sell them make me a designer? Yes, I design. Yes, I sell my designs. But I'm not sure if I'm at that place yet.
That's why I think working exclusively on my bags can make me someday a "bag designer", as a fact. Also, I'll be the only one in my town. I already kinda am. And besides, I like the sound of the word "designer". No matter what kind of a designer, just a designer sounds appealing when people hear it, and of course when you say it.
I've always been interested in designing, of any kind. Because I've always known I'd be some artist kind of girl. Anything art and creative. It started with painting and drawing. Art teacher's pet, the best in my class. I've been always a writer ever since I learned how to write. And acting. That's also art. Even origami, polymer clay, pottery, film, and more! I've always done arts, creative things. So it was only natural for me to start sewing and making bags. Okay, so I didn't know I was going to be making bags specifically (or even sewing in general, I'll admit), but it was always clear to me that arts is my passion. That's what I'm gonna do "when I grow up". There was no other option. But this particular option has many options by itself.
So no it's clear to me that's I'm ready to move on. From my job in the last 4 or 5 years, to something that I can really feel like I master, a place I'd be more comfortable in and wouldn't feel like a pain in the butt. That's just something I have to do. Say thanks and then goodbye. It's time for me to be who I am, and maybe what I'm meant to be. And I feel that it's right. It feels right. And I'll be happier and well… less bored. Because I'll do what I want, and that's really the best thing for me, as an individual.
This is how I open the new year. With a new thing of my own!
So, basically I'm thinking about leaving. Now I need to check my options. There's no really good options. The best option I see right now, which is not only the best one, it's also pretty good too, is working exclusively on my bags. My soon to be studio will be my working place, I'll be my own boss, I'll sell my bags from there. I'm still checking that option, if it's even possible.
But the best part, I'd finally be able to say I am a bag designer. Not just a sewer. Although I think it's a little early for me to say the word 'designer' by all means. I just feel I'm not there yet. I don't have an official business, I don't know everything about making bags, I'm still learning, and there is still a lot to learn. And I think there will come the day when I could finally say, "Yes, I am a bag designer. That's my profession, that's what I do". Because right now it feels a little weird saying those words. Does the fact that I make many bags and sell them make me a designer? Yes, I design. Yes, I sell my designs. But I'm not sure if I'm at that place yet.
That's why I think working exclusively on my bags can make me someday a "bag designer", as a fact. Also, I'll be the only one in my town. I already kinda am. And besides, I like the sound of the word "designer". No matter what kind of a designer, just a designer sounds appealing when people hear it, and of course when you say it.
I've always been interested in designing, of any kind. Because I've always known I'd be some artist kind of girl. Anything art and creative. It started with painting and drawing. Art teacher's pet, the best in my class. I've been always a writer ever since I learned how to write. And acting. That's also art. Even origami, polymer clay, pottery, film, and more! I've always done arts, creative things. So it was only natural for me to start sewing and making bags. Okay, so I didn't know I was going to be making bags specifically (or even sewing in general, I'll admit), but it was always clear to me that arts is my passion. That's what I'm gonna do "when I grow up". There was no other option. But this particular option has many options by itself.
So no it's clear to me that's I'm ready to move on. From my job in the last 4 or 5 years, to something that I can really feel like I master, a place I'd be more comfortable in and wouldn't feel like a pain in the butt. That's just something I have to do. Say thanks and then goodbye. It's time for me to be who I am, and maybe what I'm meant to be. And I feel that it's right. It feels right. And I'll be happier and well… less bored. Because I'll do what I want, and that's really the best thing for me, as an individual.
This is how I open the new year. With a new thing of my own!
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just follow your heart Daphna and go with the wind.I have gone through those phase and never regret..Goodluck in your plans and pray hard for god's blessing.
ReplyDeleteDaphna I have been and am still kind of going through exactly what you're talking about. I don't think you need someone else to label you as designer before you can start to call yourself one. You ARE a designer and you don't need a certificate or a certain accomplishment to give you the right to call yourself one. You will find amazing things will happen if you start to speak as if you are already what you wish to become. When people ask what you do, tell them you have your own handbag business and that you design and make the bags yourself. Is it successful? Yes, very, and I get to be creative every day, living my dream job. Wow that must be great.... It sure is :-)
ReplyDeleteI had a year to work solely on my business and it was great but now I have to pay the bills and so have started a part time job 3 days a week. I really like having a mix of working on my bags and then office work. I miss being in the social office environment sometimes, so it's nice.
All the best for this year, I'm sure you will achieve everything you set out to.